Feature: John's PS1 Memories 1
Image: Push Square

I was a teenager in the middle of the nineties and like any other teenage boy in the middle of the nineties I cared about just one thing and it was f****** disgusting — Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes, it’s confession time, oh readers of Push Square. Growing up I was a SEGA kid which is probably the root cause of around 85% of my neuroses. I bloody loved Sonic the Hedgehog, and played it day and night.

We didn’t have the Internet in the village I grew up in until sometime in the year 2000. This meant two things. First, I had no idea what a naked woman looked like until some time in the year 2000. Second, I had no access to video game news other than through magazines that my parents would occasionally buy for me, and those were usually fiercely on brand SEGA mags that weren’t known for painting competing consoles in a particularly flattering light.

We never had much money growing up. And so when my parents told me that they’d be buying me a new video game console it was a huge deal. All they needed to know was which of the new consoles I wanted so they could begin saving up for it. In lieu of honest video game criticism, and thanks to my love of Sonic the Hedgehog the choice was obvious. “The SEGA Saturn!” I proclaimed like a total idiot, completely unaware that I’d just made the stupidest decision of my life except for that time I gave Alan Wake a 6/10 review.

Fortunately, the universe would intervene and set me on the correct path. Our school had a yearly trip to a semi-local theme park called Lightwater Valley that was famous for a ride called The Ultimate. Some older kids were telling us youngsters about how The Ultimate was so terrifying that someone actually died from fright while riding it, and so once we got to the park and it was time to head to the rollercoaster of doom I made my excuses about the line being too long and instead headed to the safety of the arcade.

I wanted to play Mortal Kombat II but those machines were already being played on by groups of bigger boys and so I settled for a game I’d never heard of before: Tekken. For the next hour or so I sank all of the money my mother had given me to buy food into the Tekken machine. I was Yoshimitsu, a dude with a sword who knew how to do very little except kick people in the face while I was in control of him. I sucked at it, but I loved every minute.

On the bus home I discovered a couple of shocking revelations. The Ultimate, it turned out, was nowhere near as scary as people had built it up to be and was actually just a fairly tame rollercoaster that nobody died on. And upon talking to my friend about Tekken I was told that Tekken was going to be released on PlayStation and not my beloved Saturn.

A couple of older, cooler kids overheard and joined the conversation, talking about how much better the PlayStation was than the Saturn, and by the time we were home my decision had been made. Peer pressure and Tekken was all it took for me to abandon Sonic and SEGA. Months later I got my PlayStation with two games; I chose Tekken and my brother picked WWF Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game. I played both religiously.

Over the next few years the original PlayStation became my favourite console of all time. I became enamoured with Final Fantasy 7, spending an entire Christmas afternoon playing it in my room. A treasured memory. Metal Gear Solid was the interactive action movie I’d always wanted. Playing Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars with my Mum. Silent Hill, Vib Ribbon, Kurushi, PaRappa. These are the games that showed me just how powerful this medium can be, and transformed my mere enjoyment of video games into a full-blown obsession.

If I’d stuck to my guns and got a Saturn there’s no telling where I’d be today. I probably wouldn’t be writing this. Perhaps I’d have given up on gaming and taken up a hobby. Maybe I’d have been an accountant. I could have joined a gym. In that alternate life I could be a fitness buff, chugging rancid green smoothies and talking about leg days. But instead I’ve got a body that looks like melted ice cream and 257 Platinum Trophies. I think we know who the real winner is.