Buzzfeed is so ridiculous that it’s already broken the fourth wall and started parodying itself, but there’s definitely a degree of entertainment to be derived from human stupidity. While we’re not diving down that rabbit hole, we thought that it was time to pad out the post-Gamescom hangover with an article that’s been sitting at the top of our ‘To Do’ list for some time: a rundown of the worst PlayStation Network avatars ever. Seriously, it’s a bit of a secret, but the European PlayStation Store has been receiving some of the most atrocious profile icons for months now. Here are some of our favourites – or, er, least favourites.
Mad About Video Games
If your obscure role-playing game t-shirt collection wasn’t enough evidence of your video game obsession, this ‘Mad About Video Games’ avatar should properly get the message across to your mates. For maximum impact, pair this profile picture with a user name like ‘CrAzZzYGaMeR1998’.
It’s All About Me
We happen to be quite fond of the TATU track All About Us, but this avatar is not recommended if you’re aiming to ingratiate yourself to your Call of Duty: Ghosts teammates. One glimpse at this avatar, and your squaddies will instantly out you as the selfish soldier that you are.
Supporting Indie Games
“I’m supporting indie games,” said no one ever. Well, apart from perhaps Sony. Look, we adore the experimental excursions on the PlayStation Store as much as the next hipster, but we’re not going to emblazon this across our PSN profile in the hope of earning Fez creator Phil Fish’s respect.
So Next Gen
What does this even mean? You can’t even buy avatars on the PS4 yet, so what’s ‘So Next Gen’ about defacing your PSN profile with this monstrosity. And what’s the old-fashioned binary in the background about? It looks like something you’d see on a BBC Micro, not a state of the art machine.
☆Y☆
Here’s a good one for you: Y. As in: why the heck have you spent almost one whole British pound on this piece of crap when you could have invested it into something much more worthwhile? Like, oh, we don’t know, a self-help class to stop you from spontaneously spending money on this rubbish.
I’m Dope
An avatar that we can all agree with: yes, you are a dope if you think that this profile picture is cool. We’re assuming that the hazing effect is a masked message about how using “dope” to get “stoned” is a valuable use of your time and energy. In which case, it’s even more obnoxious.
Goth Gamer
There’s only one thing worse than goths: goths that feel the need to remind you that they’re goths at every opportunity – even though their black hair, panda eyes, and Marilyn Manson pins are dead giveaways. We’re guessing this icon is ironic, as a real goth would never have a pink and blue avatar.
To Be a Gamer Is to Believe in Life
This sounds like one of those motivational quotes that you find on free calendars, except it makes less sense. We suppose that it’s saying that no one can ever truly appreciate life until they’ve played Ride to Hell: Retribution on the PS3. In which case, it’s absolutely right.
I Am Human
For the Captain Obvious among you comes an avatar so ridiculously apparent that it almost beggars belief: I Am Human. No, really? We thought that you were some genetically modified sea monkey augmented with the ability to operate a DualShock 4. Bloomin’ heck.
YOLO
We can probably all agree that anyone who uses the acronym ‘YOLO’ earnestly deserves to have their face stapled to a boiling cauldron of Nando’s Extra Hot sauce, but the insinuation that you have to play games that matter really gets our goat here. How does one even find out which games matter?
100% Kosher
As far as we’re aware, kosher refers to the preparation of food in a way that’s in-keeping with certain religious beliefs. We haven’t got a problem with that – but do you really need to broadcast your dietary decisions on the PSN? It’s certainly not going to convince people to revive you in Battlefield 4.
Not Tested on Animals
Without getting too political, we firmly believe in animal rights, and agree that unnecessary cruelty is unacceptable. That said, we doubt even the most menacing pharmaceuticals company would test a PSN avatar on lab rats. And if they did, the only outcome could be disgust at that awful dog drawing.
Golden Boot
Ah, a golden boot, we get it. For those of you that aren’t football fans, this prestigious award is presented to the top goal scorer in a given soccer tournament. As a result, we can see why someone would want to have such an accolade as their avatar – but not when it looks like an overripe banana.
London Hot Dog
Look, if you want your PSN profile to boast a clip art image of a hot dog with your hometown written in mustard across the wiener, we won’t hold it against you. Exactly why you’d want such a ridiculously random icon is beyond us, though.
I Love Girl Gamers
You’re getting yourself into hot water with this one right away. Why the need to specify gender? What is it exactly that you love about girl gamers aside from anatomical differences? If you can answer either of these questions, then we recommend keeping the responses to yourself.
I’m Not a Geek, I’m a Gamer
The lady doth protest too much. It doesn’t matter how much you deny it, people are going to realise that you’re a geek if you’ve got the Platinum Trophy in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and Dragon Age II. We’re sorry, but no matter what you say, a nerd is exactly what you are.
Billionaire’s Club
The irony with this avatar is that maker Populus Media is charging £2.49 for it – significantly more than any of the other awful icons on this list. Considering that it’s simply atrocious, we can only assume that it’s a social experiment, designed to see if anyone has more money than sense.
Clouds
No, you’re not seeing things – this really is a picture of some fluffy white clouds. You know what, this one doesn’t rile us as much as the others, but considering you can barely make out the texture of the cirriform clusters, it’s just a really, really bad avatar.
Egg Face
Nothing says “I’m wacky” quite like an egg with a ridiculous expression Photoshopped onto it. We wonder how long the designer spent working on this. Moreover, we wonder if he or she ever once stopped to ask: why would anyone buy this? The fact that this can be purchased right now, suggests not.
16-Bit Toaster
We’re as fond of the Mortal Kombat toasty meme as much as the next guy, but do you really need to display a toaster on your PSN profile? Look, we love a Grade 5 slice of white with Marmite and margarine in the morning, but we’re not willing to dress our online presence with a kitchen utensil.
Everything I Know I Learnt from Video Games
This is not something that you should ever say on a first date, as the person that you’re wooing may get the wrong impression. We’re not saying that you can’t learn everything from video games, but considering the state of the industry these days, we doubt that you’d get very far if you tried.
Are you aware of any worse PSN avatars than these? Which of the above atrocities do you think is the most deplorable? Cringe with us in the comments section below.
Which of the following PSN avatars is the worst? (51 votes)
- Mad About Video Games 0%
- It’s All About Me 0%
- Supporting Indie Games
- So Next Gen 0%
- ☆Y☆
- I’m Dope
- Goth Gamer
- To Be a Gamer Is to Believe in Life
- I Am Human
- YOLO
- 100% Kosher
- Not Tested on Animals
- Golden Boot 0%
- London Hot Dog
- I Love Girl Gamers
- I’m Not a Geek, I’m a Gamer
- Billionaire’s Club
- Clouds
- Egg Face
- 16-Bit Toaster 0%
- Everything I Know I Learnt from Video Games
Please login to vote in this poll.
Comments 44
To be a gamer is to believe in life!
My avatar is a beetle. What else.
Ironically i was planning on making hot dogs today since I just got it. My avatar is of a robot with blue eyes and blue sword.
@Punished_Boss Were you going to write London on your hot dogs in mustard?
@get2sammyb I hate mustard, BBQ sauce or Ketchup is the way to go.
"To be a gamer is to believe in life!"
What a preposterous statement... please...
I would love to know the exact sales figures for each one of these avatars.
Great article. I either use this Haze guy or usually my Hitman avatar. Unfortunately, the game this Haze avatar came from was pure dog sh*t.
@Beaston61 I genuinely still can't read that one without cracking up. I'm tempted to buy it, y'know...
Sorry... I couldn't resist
Great article by the way
@get2sammyb Slow news day today? lol
@Beaston61 Oh my goodness! HAHAH!
Hysterical stuff, but utterly bewildering. Good lord.
@Beaston61 I nearly choked on my food when I saw it!
"There’s only one thing worse than goths" erm... what? Goths are hot. Discussion over.
As a general rule, I don't like dealing with people with the words "playa" "1337" or "420" in their id's. These avatars certainly serve a purpose however, in that they make it much easier to identify people who just aren't worth speaking to on or offline.
That said, the stock avatar of what looks like a smiling, yellow, plasticine turd is worse than anything on this list.
Incidentally mine is solid snake. I like mgs.
@rastamadeus that and as of about 5 years ago they seldom listen to Marilyn Manson. That was a lazy generalisation and the author should be sent to their room with the complete works of Darkthrone until they've seen the error of their ways.
@Punished_Boss no way, mustard and ketchup and onions
Problem is most goths are up their own a*rse. Combichrist all the way, one of the best live bands around.
@Johnnycide this! I avoid people online that use names that clearly show their grade school mentality. These avatars are a godsend. It makes it much easier to filter players! All we need is a way to auto blacklist based on avatar lol!
@SimonAdebisi yeah it can be elitist as he'll on that scene. I used to be into it about 10 years ago but I grew to dislike it. I love bands like mastodon and wolves in the throne room, but I also like Justin Timberlake and Daft Punk (as does everyone, I mean. .. Daft Punk!). Admitting that in certain liverpool nightclubs will have you banished from the scene and mean that people will act like you're odd. It's honestly that bad.
Thankfully that's a minority though, and most of them are alright.
@thedevilsjester yeah but you'll miss out on all the ironic people... ?
@Johnnycide love mastadon, used to like daft punk but their pretty meh now, I'm aware of just one Timberlake track I like a which is sweaty back. I more or less gave up on the night scene after they closed jillys in Manchester.
@Johnnycide One of the most amusing nights in my life happened last year when on the bottom floor of Krazyhouse a load of goths and emos (for lack of better words) were jumping around to "Get Lucky." And then "Gangam Style." Was surreal and still makes me smile.
@SimonAdebisi Woah, woah, woah. "Meh"? GTFO. "Instant Crush" is easily one of the top five songs this decade and their recent album is sublime, especially if listened to in one go at night when it's raining. Beautiful album from a stupidly talented band... if only they weren't French. Give it a go in that condition and if you don't realise it's amazing I'll buy you a pasty. We're all northern, it's what we all eat (apparently).
@rastamadeus oh that's nothing. Ever seen 40 odd whopping Goffs doing a conga to the calypso music off the end of beetlejuice? Every Saturday. Without fail. In the Krazyhouse. So many half remembered Saturday nights in there.
I like that we're all northern. It's like the Internet just got a little smaller. Aaaaaaaah.
I've been proudly wearing this avatar for a while now. I love searching for the worst avatars possible.
The "I <3 Girl Gamers" one is pretty f**king lame!
Some of these weren't THAT bad...like the London Hot Dog!
@Godsire- A little bit of me is so relieved! All this time i thought you actually liked Haze.
The opening question for the "So Next Gen" avatar put a smirk on my face. Fun read. Cheers guys.
@Confused_Dude You inspired the whole article, Ben!
I voted Billionaire’s Club just because it's a wast of $4. There are four more avatars by Populus Media that are also $4.
My avatar is from Ghouls 'N Ghosts very good game for the Genesis still love to set down play it and besides it fits my PSN username nicely and it is only $0.49. Like that 16-bit look as well.
I find the YOLO: I Play Games That Matter one even more frustrating than YOLO normally is, because that implicitly states an ignorance of smaller games, because ONLY AAA GAMES MATTER. Commence Childish Assumptions About the Sexuality of Fellow Commenters
Reduced to tears (from laughing) by the sheer randomness of that London hot dog. Sooo tempted to get it now.
What does it signify? What is it trying to capture? How does it relate to anything at all? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEEEAAANN?!
The worst thing about these is the price. Meanwhile for 20p I got this kick ass Deus Ex avatar: http://psnprofiles.com/lib/img/avatars/m/cce89f.png
Where's the "Vote that they're all terrible" option?
@Swiket I feel that there's a small difference. Most people attribute the term "gamer" to someone who spends above-average amounts of time gaming. Though I feel the term is a bit too broad to market to, there's no denying that many people fit the bill for such a description.
About your "tv watcher" point, I'd just like to point out that that's how companies look at people who watch television, but they go more specific. "Who's watching Cartoon Network at 10:30 in the morning? All right, commercials for snacks, cereals, and toys. Who watches Comedy Central at midnight? All right, commercials for rock cds and inappropriate phone-based services." They're not calling you a "late-night Sci-fi (isn't it Sy-fy now? I don't even really know) t.v watcher" outright, but they basically are.
"It doesn’t matter how much you deny it, people are going to realise that you’re a geek if you’ve got the Platinum Trophy in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and Dragon Age II."
Oh crap! I've been had! xD
Anyway, this whole article made me Facepalm so hard that there's a 5 inch depression from my elbow in my bed. Ludicrous that people would even spend money on things like this. Pandering to the lowest common denominator is what this is doing.
@Johnnycide Yeah it is amusing that congaing. It's just the goths I saw really getting into 'Gangam Style' where ones who I'd overheard talking all scene-like, laughing at my friend who came down the stairs while singing a La Roux song (to be fair, it's infectiously catchy). Was literally like "I'd never dance to something pop.... ['Gangam' comes on] TUNE!!!!"
Had a nice long think about the meaning of
"To Be a Gamer Is to Believe in Life"
And absolutely nothing entered my mind.
@Jazzer94 well, if you're not alive you won't be able to game. Consequently, if you're gaming it must mean that you're also alive. Therefore, to be a gamer is to believe in life.
or something like that
being a "veteron gamer" i don't understand what a psn avatar is , but this is a great article that made me LOL ! I actually like the "mad about video games" one - it's kinda kooky . the hot dog is pretty awful , but not the wurst (get it ?) no , that dubious accolade goes to the "I'm dope" one (grrr...)
mine is either, Cloud from Dissidia, Blue Sound Shape Character, or Big Boss from MGS3. Non of these things....
My avatar is the Ghost Recon symbol.
"...we can only assume that it’s a social experiment, designed to see if anyone has more money than sense."
Should have said, "we can only assume that it's a social experiment, designed to see if anyone has more money than cents."
@Swiket I couldn't agree more. I mean I play a lot of video games, but I don't call myself a "gamer." That's just taking the hobby a bit too seriously.
@rastamadeus As someone who spent this afternoon doing housework with the other half while singing along to the Vengaboys (the vengabus is coming) I can completely see where you are coming from with that.
And you can obviously tell that I have no sense of shame.
I really dislike people who judge others like that though, why should anyone make your mate feel bad for liking La Roux? I mean I could understand if it was say, Agadoo or something but La Roux is a bit indie.
@SimonAdebisi Mastodon are incredible, Once More Round the Sun was my favourite album this year until Pallbearer's new one came out. Now I'm not sure which I like better. I'm seeing both bands this year as well, Pallbearer in Manchester in a couple of weeks with Yob. EXCITEMUN.
While they are all bad what would you say are good avatars? I find the whole concept a tad cringe inducing...like a rushed decision tatoo.
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