Topic: The Chit Chat Thread

@Kidfried @RogerRoger Power to you both for talking about this stuff. I wish I could have more time to myself but sometimes dealing with all the stuff in my life - I dont have the chance. That used to metamorphosise into a weekend blow out or booking myself into a hotel for a night. Now adays I reluctantly (Im a man damn it) admit I am upset and want some time on my own (I cant afford a hotel). That tends to work.

Ive never suffered with anxiety but suffered major depression when I got unfairly medically discharged from the Armed forces, my dad died and we lost our house in the space of a month. That was a proper crap time so if you have depression due to genetics that would be horrendous. Fortunately a couple of months happy pills and a start in a decent civvy job sorted me out. My wifes really understanding and I especially needed her then.

@RogerRoger to be fair that was almost 7 years ago. All the bad stuff seemed to come at once which is usually stretched over a lifetime. Yeah acknowledging you have an issue is hard, its amplified when people dont understand your situation. But the meds helped me through and time is a good healer. I got a great job, we decided to buy a house the only thing I could never replace was my dad. Just decided to become an even better dad for my kids.

What is interesting to me and that experience is that ultra low. Staring into space, not functioning properley, saying your ok but your not, not wanting to do much or go out. Ive never suffered before from that so if one was inclined to be that way naturally its horrendous. Your just broken. Its weird actually.

I too suffered with depression and anxiety in the past, i still get my dark days and moments but feel a lot better then i did. The 'secret' for me was acknowledging what i had, recognising what was the main cause of it, and doing something about it. Having a good support circle of family and close friends that you can talk to sometimes helps (not always my parents for instance go to 'deep' for my liking).

One thing that irks me and something that I'm noticing more and more on the internet and media is when people say stuff like I'm a little bit of OCD' which couldn't be futher from the truth. I don't suffer from it myself but have known peple that do and seen what it can do to people.
@RogerRoger @Kidfried Thanks for being so open, i would post more but i have start work!

I got an offer accepted on a flat today. Wee, on the ladder. Nearly.

@kyleforrester87

Honestly the entire attitude to mental illness both in public and in institutions is....appalling. I can't pick another word for it.

Back at university (YAY!) the facilities for talking and discussing mental health wasn't good. Not terrible, they existed and offered solutions, but the real help came from my GP.

In fact when I moved back home, and my medical records transferred to my new doctor the actual first thing he did was ring me, out of the blue, and asked how I was, if I needed help, and offered to always be on hand if I needed to be remedicated or wanted to try alternatives if things got bad.

Why is that NOT the standard? Why is that the exception?

You see it online too, I rarely bring up my PTSD because the response I get is "Well I got over it why cant you" (There have been examples on this site and others in fact). All I can say to that is....great! You got over it and that's amazing. But I'm not you. Nor is the next person. Likewise you are not me, I don't expect the 6 month build up to the death of a loved one to only affect you for a fortnight like it does for me. We all deal with different things in different ways and people are so blind to the individuality of others.

What's more disgusting is the way workplaces handle this. My mother is now diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a pretty nasty illness with no concrete cause and most certainly no cure, just pain management. She now suffers from incredibly limited mobility on bad days and somewhat limited on good days, and even simple tasks can tire her out. Sometimes she cant even get up after sitting down. Add on top the constant pain around her body and it's obvious she isn't well.

But the response from her workplace? "Well you can walk cant you?". Her future sister in law? "I have it and I'm fine it's all in your head" (She doesn't have it, just wants to outdo everyone!). That attitude is so...dismissive of very real invisible illnesses that impact people in ways no one can really comprehend.

My own struggle with depression is life long and frankly will never end, because it never truly goes away. But when I was medicated for the first time on citalopram, it was the usual shtick. Few weeks to let it begin to work, may be a weird first week or two, then we adjust and develop a strategy further from there.

It cleared the depression just fine. What I didn't know is the absolutely crippling anxiety from years of bullying and social outcast status was underneath. Once I wasn't miserable, I became incredibly nervous, leading to breakdowns of relationships, work ethic, everything. But I didn't even know that was there and nor did anyone else until the depression holding it back was removed. But some medication changes later, it was sorted.

I haven't been medicated in about two years now, but this is the reality. Talking helps, getting support suited to YOU helps. Nowadays, I have bad days. I still have anxiety attacks. Sometimes I am miserable. But it's not as bad as it was before I got help. If it ever gets that bad again, I can get help again.

Even now with the reality that my life is on hold, and I'll end up unemployed and living off of carer support while I care for my mother does get me down, because there are things I want to do and I will need to make use of limited time to do it. Some days she wont need me most likely save for a few things, other days she absolutely will.

You just have to make the best of a situation and get help when you need it. It's such a shame that not just the UK but other countries are so taboo and dismissive of those with a mental illness, or even a physical illness that isn't immediately apparent. It does feel like being a second class citizen sometimes even though if we really looked at it, there's more of that second-class than there isn't!

Hi all

Just wanted to say hi as a newbie - joined today.

Congratulations! It's great to have a place to call your own. If you're like me you will definitely miss property maintenance being someone else's problem!

@Ayeffen Welcome to the site !

@RogerRoger Thanks so much! Ah you noticed huh? Well RogerRoger lucky for you Star Wars is my first love!

It will remain Paul Stamets but I might upgrade it in a second. Is there an ideal dimension for the avatars on this site as not happy it's a bit blurry in both here and my profile.

@Fight_Teza_Fight Thanks!

@Ayeffen Do i see another Trek fan here?

anyway welcome to the site

@FullbringIchigo You certainly do! Thanks nice to be here

@Ayeffen Hi, and thanks! Ahh I manage other people's properties for a living so I live and breath bloody maintenance, for better or for worse!

@Ayeffen @RogerRoger i don't think there is a limit, no picture i ever used was rejected no matter the size

@kyleforrester87 congrats on the flat bro!

@RogerRoger Honestly with my mother its just day by day.

And I can only hope education helps in future. Its getting better but that doesn't mean its good.

@RogerRoger Fair enough! I take comfort in it being from the first Star Wars film I ever saw (not in order I know but I was only 8 or 9)

@Kidfried It's my initials spelt more phonetically, A F and N (i'll leave you guessing. )

@kyleforrester87 Oh well you know exactly what's involved then! I work for a building services contractor so again have a similar insight which has helped.

@FullbringIchigo Thanks - last forum I was on had a 100 x 100 limit so was prepared for that but will get cracking on a hi res one.

@Ayeffen @RogerRoger are you talking about Episode 1, that was my first Star Wars film because i was old enough to pay to see it myself and as i lived with parents that don't like Star Wars it wasn't until after Episode One that i got to see the Original Trilogy

and i'm sorry if people don't like this but i still think the Prequels were better films even though the OT is awesome too

@RogerRoger depends on who is the oldest ^_^

@RogerRoger @FullbringIchigo Haha guys I think I am with you! The prequel trilogy was the set of characters I grew up with. The way the Jedi were portrayed made me want to explore it all further, the games and expanded universe. Have you guys ever played Jedi Knight on PC?

@Ayeffen i played every game i could get my hands on including Jedi Knight although i think Jedi Academy was a better game personally