@HallowMoonshadow haha yeah, sour patch kids which was some American sweet which I think they do over here now. I can't remember what I did now to get them actually. I may have bought the codes off eBay for a "few" quid. It was moment of great shame but I think it has led me to renounce all GaaS with addictive mechanics in later life. I actually think CTR was the last game I played where I became that addicted to it and it was really affecting my health.
Yes, I was a lurker! Some time on NL without an account and eventually here and there with an account. These are actually the first online things I've ever been properly a part of. I kind of grew up in that transition period when kids on the internet was a new thing (before smartphones etc) so I was always taught to never speak to strangers online etc. Only took me until my late 20s to get out of that mindset and take the plunge 😅
Glad to see you’ve resurrected the ol’ PS4. My PS4 is teetering on death, I think. I think it has a WiFi antenna issue. Unfortunately that means it can either connect to the internet or to the controller, but usually not both. And if it does happen to connect to both, it could drop Bluetooth connection to the controller at any moment which freezes the console and I have to perform a hard reboot.
I’ve heard that the WiFi antenna might be the issue for this, but I haven’t the first clue how to assess and/or fix it, although I’m sure there’s a YouTube video out there somewhere. Honestly, since PS5 is back-compatible I’ve not worried too much about fixing it, but I have to be honest, I prefer to play any PS4 games that don’t have a performance boost on the original hardware. I like the UI and the feel of the controller better!
Anyways, sorry I went off on a tangent with my own unrelated issues. 😅 The point is — welcome back!
@HallowMoonshadow haha yeah, sour patch kids which was some American sweet which I think they do over here now. I can't remember what I did now to get them actually. I may have bought the codes off eBay for a "few" quid. It was moment of great shame but I think it has led me to renounce all GaaS with addictive mechanics in later life. I actually think CTR was the last game I played where I became that addicted to it and it was really affecting my health.
I can certainly understand that Ralph as CTR:NF was also the game to really introduce those addictive mechanics to me with that first season negatively affecting me as well.
Didn't quite stop me from trying a few other games like Genshin or whatnot with similar GaaS but I certainly played them with a lot more moderation before dropping them!
Yes, I was a lurker! Some time on NL without an account and eventually here and there with an account. These are actually the first online things I've ever been properly a part of. I kind of grew up in that transition period when kids on the internet was a new thing (before smartphones etc) so I was always taught to never speak to strangers online etc. Only took me until my late 20s to get out of that mindset and take the plunge 😅
Ha well I'm glad you did Ralph as you're a fun chap to talk with!
Well that certainly was one of the more unique hellos/welcome backs @Th3solution I've ever had
Heh don't worry about it. Sorry to hear your PS4 has been acting up for you Sol and I hope you can do something about it soon!
Ya started Dark Souls 2 or 3 yet? I mean sure ya beat DS 1 but... Still got a ways to go in the series What did you make of DS1 by the way?
Also... what is that avatar of yours?
Previously known as Foxy-Goddess-Scotchy
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"You don't have to save the world to find meaning in life. Sometimes all you need is something simple, like someone to take care of"
@HallowMoonshadow Haha! Well, I’ve been in a weird headspace recently. 😂
But yes, I am happy to see you back. Firstly that means you’re doing okay, and secondly because of your kindness and interesting discussion. We need more of that around here. 😄 We’ve had a few of the regulars drop off in the last couple months so the overall personality of the place has been a bit different. So it’s nice to have a veteran return to balance things out.
Incidentally, I’m fast approaching my 6 year Push Square Anniversary, so you are right — it seems like time flies!
As for DS1, it was a fabulous experience. I wrote quite a bit over on the “You Died…” thread so there’s quite a few deeper thoughts there. In summary it was very good and I actually miss it. The FromSoft games (and most great games for that matter) tend to leave one feeling a bit empty when trying to play something else afterwards. But moving straight on to the next installment felt a little like overkill and I figured I’d get burned-out on the genre if I tried to do two close together. As such, I’m still deliberating on whether to play DS2 next or jump to DS3. As I said on the Dark Souls thread I’ve kept my eye open for a copy of DS2, and I think if I can pick it up on the cheap then I’ll try it. I know you’d advocate for it as I recall it being your favorite, if memory serves. I’ve seen a lot of Souls fans say to skip it, so I’m torn. (Not to bring up that well-worn debate here, but… too late)
As for the avatar, I have no idea! 😂 It’s just a cool sword flipping gif that I’m sure has every samurai turning over in their graves but she really makes it look both vicious and balletic at the same time. 😄
I usually try to have my avatar be related to something I’m playing, watching, or am obsessed with at the time, but after Dark Souls I was just being random.
What’s on your docket? I see Legend of Dragoon, which sounds interesting. Lots of RPGs you say? And how are those kiddos at school treating ya?
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
But yes, I am happy to see you back. Firstly that means you’re doing okay, and secondly because of your kindness and interesting discussion.We need more of that around here. 😄
I'm happy to be back Sol and thanks for the kind words and saying my input my interesting. Often feels like I'm just prattling on and spouting gibberish ha ha
We’ve had a few of the regulars drop off in the last couple months so the overall personality of the place has been a bit different. So it’s nice to have a veteran return to balance things out.
Yeah I talked about it with Rog a little over PSN. Shame to hear JudgeDredd/Frugate/All the other names & Kairu have left (amongst others) and even Ness hasn't returned back yet.
As for DS1, it was a fabulous experience. I wrote quite a bit over on the “You Died…” thread so there’s quite a few deeper thoughts there. In summary it was very good and I actually miss it. The FromSoft games (and most great games for that matter) tend to leave one feeling a bit empty when trying to play something else afterwards. But moving straight on to the next installment felt a little like overkill and I figured I’d get burned-out on the genre if I tried to do two close together. As such, I’m still deliberating on whether to play DS2 next or jump to DS3. As I said on the Dark Souls thread I’ve kept my eye open for a copy of DS2, and I think if I can pick it up on the cheap then I’ll try it. I know you’d advocate for it as I recall it being your favorite, if memory serves. I’ve seen a lot of Souls fans say to skip it, so I’m torn. (Not to bring up that well-worn debate here, but… too late)
I'll be sure to look at the thread and see what your thoughts were there too!
And yeah that totally makes sense to spread yourself out and not burn out on the games/genre.
Dark Souls III is my favourite. Though I've played DS II the most and I certainly don't think it's as bad as most would say. It certainly has it's charms and is rather unique (Though it does have it's failings too).
Some could argue DS III is kinda like "Now That's What I call Soulsborne". A greatest hits package almost with very close ties to DS 1 in design too.
As for the avatar, I have no idea! 😂 It’s just a cool sword flipping gif that I’m sure has every samurai turning over in their graves but she really makes it look both vicious and balletic at the same time. 😄
I usually try to have my avatar be related to something I’m playing, watching, or am obsessed with at the time, but after Dark Souls I was just being random.
Hey we could all use a bit of spontanity in our lives so good for you even if it's just a avatar gif of an attractive woman flipping a katana about all cool like! 😄
My partner asked me to write a list of my hopes and dreams for my life.
I actually found the process to be pretty depressing. I haven't done (or don't have) anything on this list. It all seems pretty impossible to achieve to the point where I'd deem it "childish" and that I should get my head into the "real world" which is something I refuse to do (without at least some modifications)
Has anyone else done something like this? Or do most people just keep their head down and get on with whatever life they have? Is anyone living the dream? Or is everyone living the grind? Are people happy with their lot or do they want a lot more?
My games collection are keep competing each other.
Currently my 3DS games (all region combined) are 66 games.
My Wii USA games are 64 games.
My PS3 games are 61 games.
My PS4 games are 52 games.
My Switch games are 52 games.
They are my biggest collection with more than 50 games collected.
I’m generally pretty happy with life but have very few long term goals/ambitions etc, I probably should/will give that some attention at some point 😂
As for the grind, I accept the grind, I find a way to enjoy the grind, I stopped dreading Mondays when I left school - I don’t always LOVE what I do but I try and enjoy all the little things and the day to day, and then after that I try to appreciate “my time” even more. This attitude probably stops me looking at the big picture/milestone stuff so in that respect it might not be doing me all the favours in the world but it helps me generally be happy in the here and now so I don’t worry about “coasting” too much… although I am not getting any younger 🫤
I never holiday, I finish each year with at least 10 days unused time and those days I have used are usually hospital appointments. Last time I went abroad was…2007?! I know I need to make more effort there!
My arthritis plays into all this, it’s sort of controlled my life since my early 20s - when it is bad I don’t really want to do much/think about the future too much, and when it’s good I just enjoy the here and now. I can imagine that can be a pretty standard situation for chronic pain sufferers.
@ralphdibny as for writing stuff down like you have said, I really REALLY should do that but can’t bring myself to - seems really corny, sort of like you say! But, genuinely I think it’s the way to go. I need to get over myself and do it!
@kyleforrester87 I do like a good list 😅 but I was a bit forced into writing this one. I should have waited until a day where I was feeling more optimistic to be honest. It all seems quite impossible. (I've edited some bad wording on my original post to make it clear that I actually wrote the list but haven't achieved anything on it)
It's funny y'know, she asked me to write it as a compatibility check in some ways and when we compared lists, they were basically the same beyond one or two potential sticking points. This isn't neccesarily something to worry about or anything, the two of us have been doing a lot of, what might be called "soul searching" lately after 9 years together. 9 years yesterday actually!
I think doing the socially acceptable 9-5 grind for so long wore me down so much and made me really introverted and repressed. The less socially acceptable grind of not going to work and just focussing on myself, my health and completing long gestating projects has been much more rewarding but I am feeling a little worn out now.
Writing this list has made me question all the progress I've made on the little things and made me wonder just how worth it is considering I am no closer to my actual life-long dreams. I guess I kind of keep thinking ya know, I'll get this done, I'll get that done, I'll polish off this project then I'll focus on doing this, I'll focus on fashioning my life into something resembling satisfaction, reward, fulfillment and joy.
I think I do similar to you on most days, I just like to enjoy the moment and I am really happy to do so. I guess I kind of wanted to put mechanisms in place so I can enjoy the moment without the long run stuff getting too far out of reach I suppose.
I think I may go have a look at the resolutions thread again. 😅 I know I've definitely achieved some of that stuff!
I guess today, I am just a bit bummed out about the impermanence of stuff. Normally it's something I revel in, I love change and excitement as long as I have my anchor, something permanent. I guess I've been thinking about the impermanence of my anchor now and it does fill me with unease.
@ralphdibny yeah man, it’s hard work and doesn’t get any easier does it? 9 years is a long time, I split with my girlfriend of 13 years almost 2 years ago (no regrets!) but can’t take that stuff for granted, no matter how long it has been. Way easier said than done though sometimes.
Progress is rarely linear so don’t beat yourself up if you find you’re going backwards.
@kyleforrester87 thanks dude. I've kind of been wanting to ask you about that in some ways. Like how you handled it, how you feel and how you felt at the time. Didn't really want to cross a boundary by asking though considering we only know eachother through text on a forum 😅. Do send me a message on PSN if you feel comfortable talking about it (absolutely no worries if not though, I totally get it). Use the PS app if you do, I'd hate for you to type it all out on a controller 😅. But yeah, seriously don't worry if you don't want to chat about it as I understand it's super personal.
Thanks again though, yeah definitely got some lateral progress going on. Edging out from the centre rather than moving forward in one direction!
@ralphdibny ah, nothing that hasn’t happened a million times before I guess - I just didn’t love her in that way anymore, I think she probably felt the same way but we were just both way to comfortable. I think we could have made it work but for my part the desire just wasn’t really there. I felt pretty bad for a while after, but she quickly moved on - she’s now very happily engaged which is great! It’s been a hassle recently, frankly, as we owned the place I still live in together and we have had to unpick that but I wouldn’t undo anything. I’ve met someone new etc.
For a long time it was like we’d spend forever together just because it had been so long, until eventually it was just easier to stop pretending.
@kyleforrester87 thanks for being candid and sharing your experience. It is tough, I've had to spend long amounts of time defining vague all encompassing words like "love" to both my partner and myself.
It is such a weird thing because it does mean a lot of different things, especially to different people. And no relationship maintains that New Relationship Energy and overwhelming intense feeling of love that comes with it. And I guess most relationships kind of slip into that comforting kind of love in the end, among other ways of loving eachother.
I guess for any relationship going through an existential crisis, separating the different forms of love for analytical purposes is probably neccesary to see whether things can continue or not. It's just tough to do, especially when you just enjoy moments together as much as you enjoy the comfort.
Anyway, I'm glad you made the decision that was right for you. 👍 And that youve kept the cat 😹
@ralphdibny Your inquiry got me to thinking, and I’m not really sure that I’ve ever sat down to write out my life’s aspirations in any official sense. Certain things are just ingrained into my mind and writing them would merely be a formality.
However, I feel it is a good idea to check oneself from time to time to make sure your daily activities are in alignment with your life’s goals. I’m pretty much a “nose to the grindstone” and “keep my head down and trudge the day to day” type of guy. However, I know that my work, my relationships, and my activities have been in basic alignment with long term goals so it’s easy to just not have to constantly think about what I want to have achieved with my life when it’s all said and done. However, it is really easy to drift from the path that one sets for themself and so if you don’t do a ‘level-set’ and look up at the map every now and then you can find yourself way off the mark. That’s my problem. I do get complacent and probably need to re-inventory how I’m doing more often. The stock market currently makes me depressed to do that though. 😣
And the depressing part of it all is that none of us have any guarantees for tomorrow, as awful as that sounds. The last 3 years has definitely taught us that. Relatively young healthy people have had life cut short way too often. I think we’ve all seen it first hand with people we know in the prime of their life and then suddenly it’s over. I think the hard part is planning for the next 50-60 years but also being in a place where if it all ends tomorrow that I can be satisfied with how I left the world behind. That’s tough. But if your daily grind is in alignment with the long term goals, then it should be okay, even if it’s cut short. But I think it would also be natural to feel like Liam Neeson at the end of Schindler’s List regretting that he could have done more, no matter what one has accomplished.
All this can get very overwhelming and depressing to think about, but I like to keep perspective and think of things in some historical context. Average life span was like 40 years just a couple generations ago. Compared to our ancestors, we have a lot more time to accomplish things and get our relationships in order, and so a little grind isn’t too bad. In fact, it was pretty common in the 1800s and early 1900s to grind away on a farm from sunrise to sunset and then die of tuberculosis or an infected wound at age 30 and that was your life’s work. Thankfully, I’ve been granted a little more opportunity to work on some things and cultivate quality relationships. 😄
Unfortunately, we live in a time when we are bombarded with constant updates on social media of how our peers and celebrities are ‘living their best life.’ Undoubtedly these usually show a false sense success and happiness. I think it’s far healthier to compare our lot to our grandparents and great-grandparents who were just scrapping by for a meal during much of their lives. I can only imagine what my great-grandfather’s daily Facebook or Instagram post would be like. “Another snapshot of me on the farm milking the cows at 5:00 AM. Same as yesterday. And the day before. But today I gotta go bury the dog, he was bit by a rattler yesterday. Haven’t had rain in a while. Gonna be a bad crop this season.”
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
You said the other day about there being a feeling with the forum @Th3solution and whilst I didn't really see it at the time having only been back two days I totally feel it now.
Granted it's now the weekend too so it's going to be even slower but there is a definite colder air about the place now which is a damn shame.
Also I forgot to ask in my previous response of how you were sol!
Previously known as Foxy-Goddess-Scotchy
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"You don't have to save the world to find meaning in life. Sometimes all you need is something simple, like someone to take care of"
@Th3solution it's a tough one ain't it? I think for a long time, I've been grinding. A few months ago I took a step back to look at the long game and now it feels like I'm grinding again, just towards a slightly different goal. It's a weird feeling
I think you are right in that people just have to find the right balance for themselves. Enjoy the moment, plan for the future and remember the past. I always kind of get stuck doing one of those things, it becomes all encompassing so a pause to check the balance sounds like a good idea.
You've really hit the nail on the head regarding finite lifespans. I think that's what led me to take stock a few months back. The life I was living was full of regret and if I had died the next day, it wouldn't have been a life worth living. I just want to know that if I make it another 40-50 years, then my entire life wouldn't have been like that.
I have to say though, your image of a great grand farmer posting on Insta has made me laugh! I am sure that they would have been doing just as many "life is great" posts as people today 😅. "Beautiful sunrise, beautiful cattle! Rattlers be damned, buy your snake proof cattle fence here! 🚨👌👉 https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ"
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