Retro Reviews
Review DuckTales: Remastered (PlayStation 3)
A-woo-hoo
The original DuckTales waddled onto the NES in 1989, and for over twenty years, it has been remembered fondly by those that played it. But it isn’t just the game that has lingered in the darkest recesses of a generation’s memories, as so too has the television show. From the infectious theme song to the original voice actors,...
Review Snowy: Treasure Hunter (PlayStation 3)
Snow laughing matter
Fresh off Beatshapers’ porting production line comes Snowy: Treasure Hunter, a title starring a polar bear with a passion for treasure thievery. But while Beatshapers' porting pedigree speaks for itself, are Snowy’s adventures really worth the £6.49 asking price? Presented from a side-on view, the goal of each level is to...
Review The Bureau: XCOM Declassified (PlayStation 3)
Should've remained classified
Serving as a prequel of sorts to the long-running XCOM series, The Bureau: XCOM Declassified attempts to fuse the strategic elements of turn-based tactical alien zap-em-up XCOM: Enemy Unknown with a third-person shooter. Unfortunately, while there are glimmers of entertainment, the concept doesn't quite coalesce into a...
Review Killer Is Dead (PlayStation 3)
Crud on the moon
Killer Is Dead is unashamedly stupid. Executive producer Goichi Suda – better known by his nickname Suda51 – has made a living out of his bonkers plots and premises, but the latest product to drop off Grasshopper Manufacture’s production line takes the nonsense of No More Heroes and kits it out in a straitjacket. This is a...
Review One Piece: Pirate Warriors 2 (PlayStation 3)
Pieces of eight
Last month saw the release of Dynasty Warriors 8, the latest instalment in the seemingly never-ending hack and slash series. This month, One Piece: Pirate Warriors 2 arrives on Western shores, bringing with it more vast, hectic battles to sink your bloodied weapon of choice into. You’d be forgiven for being worn out on Warriors...
Review Lost Planet 3 (PlayStation 3)
You know the drill
Lost Planet 3 is a far cry from its predecessor’s grind-heavy, co-op based campaign. It’s a linear adventure that’s driven by narrative, and the gameplay borrows elements from several different genres and other titles. It’s a game that plays it safe, and for that reason it feels inherently familiar. But that’s not...
Review Do Not Fall (PlayStation 3)
Free fallin'
Abiding to the rules of the title proves to be a bit of a challenge in Do Not Fall, but it's a task worth trying. Despite some minor repetition niggles, this puzzle platformer is a lot of fun – even if it does flirt ever so slightly with the bonkers side. The premise harks back to the days of yore, where video games possessed a...
Review Saints Row IV (PlayStation 3)
The boys are back in town
At one point in Saints Row IV, your character, the Boss, tells series veteran Shaundi that it’s been “one helluva ride”, perhaps inadvertently summarising developer Volition’s latest title. What started out as little more than a franchise looking to piggyback on the success of Grand Theft Auto has travelled an awful...
Review Time and Eternity (PlayStation 3)
Love will tear us apart
Naughty bubble-baths and tongue-in-cheek dirty jokes are often commonplace in the JRPG genre, but they don't typically accompany an array of mature issues, such as the death of a loved one and secrecy. This is because contrasting potty humour with a deep storyline rarely works, as it’s difficult to empathise with any...
Review The Smurfs 2: The Video Game (PlayStation 3)
Feeling blue
One may assume that the business of producing low-budget movie tie-ins died with the untimely self-destruction of THQ, but Ubisoft has boldly picked up the slack with The Smurfs 2: The Video Game, and, as is normally the case with these sorts of releases, the results aren't particularly positive. The evil Gargamel and his two...
Review Spartacus Legends (PlayStation 3)
Are you not entertained?
Ubisoft’s first foray into the free-to-play market on consoles arrives in the form of Spartacus Legends, a one-on-one fighter that pits upgradable gladiators against each other both online and offline. It’s an historical premise that slots wonderfully into the genre, but does its freemium nature take away from the...
Review Tales of Xillia (PlayStation 3)
A tale worth telling
You may be inclined to disregard Namco Bandai’s latest offering in the Tales series, but although it's the thirteenth main entry in the franchise (not including spin-offs), and bursting with strangely dressed teens with voluptuous hair-dos – as well a few girls who need to be told that strategically placed ribbons don't...
Review Tekken Revolution (PlayStation 3)
King of free-to-play fighters
The video game industry is changing faster than a Tekken character’s costume. The digital era has ushered a flurry of new distribution models for publishers to exploit, and that’s left major firms like Namco Bandai juggling dozens of ideas in the hope of happening upon a critical hit. Tekken Revolution, one of the...
Review Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational (PlayStation 3)
Fairway to heaven
You’d need a heart more barren than a bothersome bunker to dislike Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational (or Everybody’s Golf, as it’s known in Europe). Originally putted onto the PlayStation Vita, this PlayStation 3 port of the sugary sporting sim is every bit as sweet as its portable predecessor. Boasting a bevy of colourful...
Review Narco Terror (PlayStation 3)
Don't do drugs
Narco Terror is a cheesy 1980s action movie squeezed into a pseudo-isometric twin stick shooter, full to the brim with stupid one-liners, massive explosions, and drug peddlers with machetes. It’s a game that’s based on simply having dumb fun – but how long does it take for the novelty to wear off? As you may probably guess, the...
Review Cloudberry Kingdom (PlayStation 3)
Hop, skip, and jetpack
Cloudberry Kingdom sounds a bit like one of those free-to-play cutesy-looking titles that you’d usually find on Facebook – probably having something to do with trading fruit to friends while maintaining a happy little kingdom full of poorly illustrated, smiling animals. Thankfully, hidden under the game’s somewhat...
Review Stealth Inc: A Clone in the Dark (PlayStation 3)
Out of sight
Fresh from a successful period on the PC – with a name too crude to be published here – Curve Studios has transposed its undercover espionage excursion to the PlayStation 3 and Vita. However, while its title may be slightly less colourful, Stealth Inc: A Clone in the Dark retains the assets that made its computer counterpart great:...
Review Painkiller: Hell & Damnation (PlayStation 3)
Damn it all to Hell
Developers have a nasty habit of referring to their games as ‘old school’ when they know that they may not be very good by modern standards. Pitched as a nostalgic trip down memory lane, and designed to serve as both a remake and a sequel to 2004’s Painkiller, does Painkiller: Hell & Damnation dance with the devil or...
Review Dynasty Warriors 8 (PlayStation 3)
Xiahou done
There comes a time when you begin to ask yourself why you’re still playing a series of games that has somehow spawned eight main iterations and countless spin-offs while retelling the same old story over and over again. What could possibly be keeping your interest in a franchise that has done almost nothing but stick to its guns for...
Review Deadpool (PlayStation 3)
Chimichangas!
Juvenile quips, over-the-top gore, fourth wall breaking referential humour, and excursions into insanity all paint the picture of the perfect Deadpool game, and in some ways this is it. You'll laugh wholeheartedly at the jokes and ridiculous scenes, but despite the excellent realisation of the character, the highly repetitive and...
Review Strength of the Sword 3 (PlayStation 3)
One knight stand
The ambitious creation of the talented twosome at Ivent Games, Strength of the Sword 3 isn’t actually the third in a series, but rather a standalone title. Peculiar naming tactics aside, it does do a lot to impress despite its developer's diminutive size. As is often the way with budget fantasy titles, a hellish army is marching...
Review Arcania: The Complete Tale (PlayStation 3)
Arrow to the GPU
A great fantasy RPG should immerse you completely into its virtual world, making you truly believe in the mysterious realms around you. A great fantasy RPG should compel you to the point that you want to speak to every character in order to learn intricate secrets both pivotal and unrelated to the game's plot, and should encourage...
Review Dungeons & Dragons Chronicles of Mystara HD (PlayStation 3)
Towers above, casting a superior shadow over generic brawlers
Retro history teaches us that it must not be easy to create a fun and hugely replayable side-scrolling beat-'em-up. The genre is riddled with pitfalls, including repetitive gameplay, tedium and dull button-bashing controls. For every gem like Streets of Rage 2 there has been an abundance...
Review Sacred Citadel (PlayStation 3)
Imitation is the sincerest form of splattery
A group of adventurers are attacked while relaxing in a tavern and must flee a town that has been set ablaze: does this sound familiar? Indeed, as the opening of Sacred Citadel mirrors the events of the first stage of Guardian Heroes, co-op brawler fans can look forward to a number of nods in reverence to...
Five years in the pit lane
The racing genre is divided between arcade and simulation fans. While other genres have fairly interchangeable skill sets, what works in an arcade racer will send you straight to the hospital in a racing sim; the no holds barred action of Need for Speed caters to the former, while Gran Turismo appeals to the latter. But...
Blown it
For a game named Fuse, the latest title from Insomniac Games does fittingly merge a plethora of ideas to create a satisfactory experience – but we're not sure that such meek praise was on the developer's agenda when it embarked on its first multiplatform project. This is a competent third-person shooter that ticks every box in the...
Review The Last of Us (PlayStation 3)
Fungal jungle
The Last of Us portrays a harrowing vision of the future that's frighteningly believable. Californian developer Naughty Dog has gone out of its way to breathe personality into every derelict room, corridor, and courtyard, eschewing the copy and paste formula of its counterparts, and delivering an experience that feels distressingly...
Review Remember Me (PlayStation 3)
Who are you again?
A game that has ironically slipped under the radar for many, Remember Me is something of a risk for Capcom, a brand new IP that borrows gameplay elements from numerous popular titles, and weaves them together within a futuristic world that’s perhaps not too far from our own reality. It’s a linear title that does things mostly...
Review Call of Juarez: Gunslinger (PlayStation 3)
Once upon a time
Ditching the divisive Call of Juarez: The Cartel's modern-day setting, and sauntering into the Wild West once again, Call of Juarez: Gunslinger is a real return to form for Techland's underrated series. Boasting over-the-top arcade action, stripped back weapons of yore, and a Tarantino-inspired visual style, this downloadable...
Review Atelier Ayesha: The Alchemist of Dusk (PlayStation 3)
'My alchemy brings all the boys to the yard'
The Atelier franchise has been running for a long time – sixteen years to be exact. And in those sixteen years, developer Gust Corporation has produced fifteen entries in the main series and a further seven side games. With so many Atelier titles on offer, it's easy to completely dismiss Atelier Ayesha:...
