Game Reviews scoring 1, 2 or 3/10
Review The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct (PlayStation 3)
No signs of life
Clearly intended to cash in on the overwhelming success of the TV show and the recent critical acclaim of Telltale Games’ excellent episodic adventure, The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct doesn’t so much as explode out of the gate, but, perhaps appropriately, shamble. The ‘plot’ revolves around the TV show’s troublesome...
Review Aliens: Colonial Marines (PlayStation 3)
Game over, man
If you’re even remotely plugged into the online gaming ‘ether’, then you’ll be fully aware of the controversy surrounding Aliens: Colonial Marines. Infamously stuck in development hell for several years, the shooter was supposedly passed from pillar to post behind the scenes, and it really shows. One of the first things that...
Review Let's Fish! Hooked On (PlayStation Vita)
Plenty moe fish in the sea
The closest that we’ve ever come to a fishing rod is the one that shipped alongside the Dreamcast – which is fitting seeing as PlayStation Vita exclusive Let’s Fish! Hooked On was designed by many of the people that worked on SEGA Bass Fishing. And it really shows: from the overenthusiastic speech samples to the...
Review Beats Trellis (PlayStation Mobile)
Pocket producer
Beats Trellis may sound like the name of a hip rhythm action game, but it’s actually a barebones digital audio workstation. Designed by Sony Computer Entertainment’s research and development department, the digital download allows you to compose simple audio motifs on the move. It’s designed in the style of Ableton and Reason,...
Review Chronovolt (PlayStation Vita)
Marble sadness
As part of the opening salvo for PlayStation Plus' expansion to the PlayStation Vita, Chronovolt received plenty of pre-release coverage. The lure of a modern take on the seminal Marble Madness, tailor-made from the ground up to show off the system's wealth of control schemes, was an attractive bait. Unfortunately, Chronovolt displays...
Review Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock (PlayStation 3)
Doctor No
The world of Doctor Who has been just begging for a competent game. After all, aren't aliens, robots, destruction, time travel and awkward, often sarcastic, humour all great staples of the medium? It's exactly the sort of television show that could merrily hop over the gap without missing a beat. But despite a clear love of the series and...
Review Battleship (PlayStation 3)
You sunk my battleship
You've got to feel sorry for Double Helix Games, the developer saddled with the challenge of transforming Battleship's big screen debut into an interesting video game. That sympathy comes partially from the realisation that the studio has done an adequate job of combining the tried-and-tested formula of Hasbro’s...
Review Rugby World Cup 2011 (PlayStation 3)
A collapsed scrum
HB Studios is no stranger to rugby union, having created EA’s last-generation rugby titles, although these were merely decent at best. After a four-year hiatus the studio's returned to the field with its latest offering, the officially-licensed Rugby World Cup 2011. Given its previous experience with the previous console...
Review Smash 'N' Survive (PlayStation 3)
Smash and desist
Chances are, if you owned a PSOne in the nineties, you will at some time have been exposed to Destruction Derby, the main selling point of which was that violently smashing rivals' cars to pieces was actively encouraged and deemed a perfectly acceptable tactic in the rush for victory. Players understandably lapped it up and, despite...
AMY is an ambitious idea squandered by poor execution
Unintuitive level design and unresponsive controls headline the game's problems, but it's the utterly reprehensible save and checkpoint system that damages AMY the most. Squint and you can see what developer VectorCell was trying to achieve with AMY. Survival horror has been a heavily...
Review Family Game Night 4: The Game Show (PlayStation 3)
Mind Boggle-ing
For the fourth iteration of its Hasbro Family Game Night series, first popularised on Nintendo Wii, EA has become bored of board games. The latest entry instead focuses upon the real life game show, Family Game Night, which in itself is based on Hasbro’s best-selling games. Currently airing on American TV channel The Hub, Family...
Review Hysteria Project 2 (PlayStation Minis)
In many ways Hysteria Project 2 is a step-backwards
In trying to flesh out the ideas established in its predecessor, BulkyPix has crafted a game with more ambition and less polish, resulting in a frustrating mess of trial-and-error puzzles. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. It's an idiom we couldn't stop thinking during our...
Review Monochrome Racing (PlayStation Minis)
Despite having an interesting visual style and some neat ideas, poor execution leaves Monochrome Racing feeling completely unrefined
The games careless upgrade system and abhorrent AI leads to a flat, unsatisfying experience thats not even worth the budget asking price. Monochrome Racing is built around a delightful concept. The idea of four...
Review Fast Draw Showdown (PlayStation 3)
Shooting blanks
Ported from the 1994 light gun arcade machine, Fast Draw Showdown makes its debut on the PSN. The setting takes place in the old Western times when arguments often started with booze and ended with lead, and all you need to do is draw your gun from its holster faster than your opponent. Using often corny and scripted video clips...
Review Let's Dance with Mel B (PlayStation 3)
Stop right now, thank you very much
While Dance Central on Kinect nailed the dance genre with its first step, many developers are still struggling to turn PlayStation Move into a fruitful dancing experience. Konami's venerable DanceDanceRevolution series had a first go, and Sony's own SingStar Dance had some things going for it, but there's still...
Review Duke Nukem Forever (PlayStation 3)
Duke Nukem Forever is a relic
The game feels caught between two opposing design sensibilities, never fully encompassing a throw-back feel because of its modern concessions. There's the glint of a good idea in some of Forever's periphery activities, and the whole campaign is punctuated by some pretty impressive set-pieces — but Duke Nukem Forever...
Review We Dare (PlayStation 3)
We feel dirty now
We Dare raised more than just eyebrows with its original trailer: the thought of young gamers getting into an array of saucy situations was too much for some, who seized upon the game's PEGI 12+ rating to call it immoral, insulting and downright offensive. Well, they got two right. We Dare's whole reputation as a bawdy party game...
Review Dance on Broadway (PlayStation 3)
Mamma mia
Dance on Broadway turned out to be quite a hit for Ubisoft when released on Wii a few years back: riding off the success of its insanely popular Just Dance series, the all-musical soundtrack had a niche all to itself that resulted in big sales for Ubisoft. Now the Move edition has entered stage left, but it barely passes the audition. The...
Review Ghostbusters: Sanctum Of Slime (PlayStation 3)
Ghostbusters: Sanctum Of Slime achieves exactly what it sets out to do, but the game is almost cynically unambitious
There's some fun to be had in multiplayer, but the game's biting repetition is evident online or off. "Great. The cemetery again?" points out our perceptive unnamed Ghostbuster. The statement's intended to draw comic relief...
Review Zumba Fitness (PlayStation 3)
You'll want to move - as far away as possible.
With the success of Wii Fit, we're beginning to see a steady increase in fitness-style game releases on the various consoles. With Move support rapidly growing in popularity among Playstation 3 owners, it was only a matter of time before the craze would hit the console and this time it's in the form of...
Review Angry Birds (PlayStation Minis)
Those with only PlayStation platforms available to them will find the Minis version of Angry Birds a perfect justification for their curiosity, but we'd urge some consideration first
The PlayStation Minis version of Angry Birds lacks features, despite coming in at a higher price. What's more, we're just not convinced the gameplay is all that great...
Review Deadliest Catch: Sea of Chaos (PlayStation 3)
Dead in the water
Discovery Channel's Deadliest Catch has been a massive television success, spanning six seasons and still going strong. Fishermen risk life and limb to catch King and Ophelia crab off the coast of Alaska in the brutal Bering Sea, and the risk is worth it in massive pay-outs that can stretch to over $1,000 an hour. Fighting near...
Review TV Superstars (PlayStation 3)
A real turn-off
TV Superstars is a minigame collection that hinges on the concept of being contestants on a range of reality TV shows, so it’s fitting that it ends up being a shallow and forgettable experience. It all starts off well: you use the PlayStation Eye camera to snap three photos for your contestants’ head, record a short sample and...
Review Dead Space: Ignition (PlayStation 3)
Dead Space: Ignition is a neat idea
Unfortunately, there's nothing redeeming about the downloadable title's execution. Ignition is intended to build excitement for the January release of Dead Space 2, but it only managed to temper our expectations. The idea of releasing downloadable teasers for big retail releases is a good one. We're Dead Space...
Review Racket Sports (PlayStation 3)
Turn that racket off
Ubisoft’s Racket Sports ('Racquet Sports' in North America) started life on Wii as Racquet Sports Party, a multiplayer waggle-fest that was one of few games to employ Ubi’s Wii camera to allow controller-free gameplay. Since then it’s received an overhaul in the graphical and control departments, but it’s only a sheep in...
Review Earthworm Jim HD (PlayStation 3)
Essentially a re-release of the Mega Drive (/Genesis) version of Earthworm Jim with pretty visuals and a few bells and whistles; Earthworm Jim HD is extremely faithful to its original 16-bit counter-part
Sadly, the original game wasn't brilliant even in its day. The platforming and level design remain second-fiddle, with the game's focus being on...
Review Naughty Bear (PlayStation 3)
Naughty Bear's probably the best PlayStation anti-hero since the God Of War himself, Kratos
The mis-understood plushy just wants to be everybody's friend. But he's constantly ignored by the other bears of Paradise Island, who'd rather laugh at him than invite him to groovy birthday bashes. Naturally, this all results in the scorned super-ted turning...
Review Iron Man 2: The Video Game (PlayStation 3)
Released just in time to coincide with the big budget summer movie of the same name, Iron Man 2 sees protagonist Tony Stark don his steel suit once more
This time he's alongside his companion War Machine, for a fight that picks up almost directly after the events of the original Iron Man. The story's fairly well told during missions and cut-scenes,...
Review Pinball Heroes: PAIN (PlayStation Portable)
PAIN's Pinball Heroes table really doesn't stack up next to the quality of the rest of the package, with basic visuals and a lack of ideas
It's probably coincidence that PAIN's Pinball Heroes table is a bit rubbish - the PSN title it's based on is certainly not one of our favourites in the PushSquare office, so there's no real love lost here. When...
Review Planet 51: The Game (PlayStation 3)
The problem with Planet 51: The Game is that, although it's not bad, it's just straight-up boring
Licensed game reviews usually start with the word "terrible." But Planet 51: The Game is not offensive enough to warrant the word "terrible." In fact, for what it does, it fares adequately. The problem is, when an entire game is as...
